Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pregnancy can be a bit embarassing...

So far I've had two very embarrassing moments with pregnancy that I would now like to share with you.

Okay, so I've had morning sickness. At first I was fine with it because it reminded me that I have a healthy growing mini-combination-me-&-baby's-daddy inside my belly. After about week two of throwing up every morning (by the way, don't eat Raisin Bran for breakfast, it's the worst to throw up) it got kind of old. The worst part was I had about a two-second warning of what my body was about to do. And it wouldn't be triggered by really anything. Smells made me nauseous at first, especially Lean Cuisine, but wouldn't trigger the full on throw up. However, I knew the moment that all started to change.

My husband and I were running an errand to get some copies at Kinko's. Ryan Styles was there. You know, the guy from Who's Line is it Anyway. He lives in Bellingham so it's inevitable that you'll eventually run in to him. Anyway, back to Kinko's. I was hungry before we left for Kinko's but decided to wait until afterwards. Stupid idea. As we left Kinko's, we drove through downtown Bellingham where every single foreign food restaurant decided to fire up the grill for lunch simultaneously. My husband's thoughts were, "mmmm, something smells good." My thoughts showed up in the form of green on my face. I tried to hold it in. Just as my husband pulled up to the curb, I went to open the car door and couldn't because it was locked. As I tried to unlock it, my husband tried to unlock it at the same time, forcing the car door to stay locked. It was too late. Needless to say, the car didn't appreciate me that day and neither did the sidewalk after I was finally able to open the door. The funny part about this whole thing is that I was sandwiched between the Post Office and the Whatcom County Jail/Courthouse.

Second most embarrassing pregnancy moment. I peed my pants. At church. The one where my husband is the Pastor which means this is the church I attend as the Pastor's wife. I had just ate dinner and my stomach was as full as it could get (which means I ate a carrot because that's really all it takes these days). I had to go to the bathroom so I stepped into the public stall, went to pull my pants down and just then I sneezed with no warning of a sneeze coming on. Because my bladder was so full and my belly was so full making my bladder even fuller than normal, I couldn't control my peeing mechanism and peed my pants.

The kid has control over everything! I keep telling myself that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I should soak up every minute of it. But really, it's a disgusting, embarrassing time that takes too long to process (thanks God). I wish it was more like a Chia Pet, it comes out as a seed and then you just water it until it grows up.

But baby and I have made a pact. I have informed it that I'll let it have control over me now but once it is breathing oxygen rather than amniotic fluid, the tables will turn. (How naive am I...)

Seriously though, this is a beautiful thing and God has blessed me with a gift that less than half of the people on this earth will ever experience. I can't wait to meet my little one and until that day, I will be more than happy to let him or her poke at me, force me to have uncontrollable bodily functions, give me heart burn, give me big boobs, give me zits, make me hormonal, make my back hurt, give me hiccups, make me fat and all the other marvelous things that comes with pregnancy. Because I'm sure that as soon as I do meet him or her, I will have forgotten all about it.

1 comment:

Laura said...

lady, you are funnee, and btw, you already had big nungas.