Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Wednesday, December 10 4:00 am: Admitted to the ER for the most horrible abdominal cramping..worst pain I've ever felt in my life...only to be told 5 1/2 hours later, after explaining the situation in great detail to 5 people my symptoms (who apparently don't know how to read because it was explained on my chart notes) , that they don't know what the heck is wrong with me.

Thursday, December 11: Stayed in bed and watched TV all day. Started to feel better.

Friday, December 12: Abdominal cramping completely gone, nesting set in.

Saturday, December 13: Nesting satisfied, Christmas decorating bug set in.

Sunday, December 14: Nesting and Christmas bug satisfied, craft frenzy set in.

Monday, December 15: Christmas bug and craft frenzy satisfied, nesting starting to kick in again.

I can't get a freaking break.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I hurt my back this weekend doing too much nesting. I was bending over and lifting (not heavy things!) too much. I pulled my back-butt-hip muscle and was walking like E.T. for a day..."ELLLIIOTT".

I'm still wadling a little but not as E.T.-ish. But! even though I pulled a muscle, we purged a ton of junk from our apartment which is super exciting for me. AND we got our crib! Worst case scenario, if we have Isaac tomorrow, we have a place to lay his head, a car seat to bring him home in, a baby bouncer/soother for him to nap in, cute little outfits so he'll be warm, and Daddy's T-Shirts to poop in. Well, we don't have any diapers just yet. So I guess we're set!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

New blogger

I have a friend who has just started a new blog. It's:


Go check her out!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I've Been Tagged

Malia has tagged me to post about the 4th picture in the 4th file on my computer. However, my husband has already taken that one as he was tagged as well. So I am posting about the 3rd picture in the 3rd file of my computer.

This is Zoe and her Papa:

As some of you know, Zoe is my favorite 6-year-old friend. She has an older sister, Morgan (10), and a younger brother, Simon (23 months), and a brand spanking new baby sister, Isla (13 Days).

Amanda...TAG! You're it!!!

This picture was taken on a trip to Port Townsend that we took in 2007. We hit several different wineries, this being one of them. Zoe's Papa is a wine connoisseur.

It was an absolutely beautiful vacation with lots of relaxation, fellowship and fun.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Post Pregnancy Boot Camp

I have decided to start my own Post Pregnancy Boot Camp. It will go something like this:

I've always wanted to do the Russian Kick. I can do like one and that's it. I even have a great hat to go to compliment my style. So stay tuned...in 5 more months I will blow your socks off!

It's like that and that's the way it is...

Monday, November 24, 2008


Nesting has totally hit! I have been getting about 7 hours of sleep at night because I wake up with anxiety of "I have to do _____ to the babies room" or "I have to remember to put the drawer anti-opener thingies on the registery" or "I have to scrub the bathroom floor...for the umpteanth time". And so I get up and do it. Stupid hormones.

Seriously...this is driving me nutz!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Pregnancy Tally

Things I don't like about being pregnant:

1. Peeing my pants just a little bit (or coming close to) almost every time I sneeze.

2. Sneezing at least once an hour...I had to stalk up on more underware.

3. The constant peeing. I find it highly anoying that I pee so often. I found peeing annoying prior to pregnancy because it interrupts whatever you are doing. I'm thinking about investing in depends just because I'm so lazy. I'd rather walk around in pee than go to the bathroom every thirty minutes. Seriously.

4. Seeing the inside of my belly button.

5. The clothes. I feel pretty with my pregnant bump however, the clothes make me look like a whale. I'd rather be naked all the time but I'm afraid I'd get fired (or harrassed).

What I LOVE about being pregnant:

1. The fact that my fat rolls have stretched out due to the belly getting bigger.

2. The food. I have a reason to eat whatever baby wants. If baby wants, baby gets.

3. The silky smooth hair and stronger nails. Although I do have to shave more often now.

4. The toys. You may think they are for baby Isaac, but really...mom will get to play with them more than he will.

5. The awareness of community that I've had since becoming pregnant. It's so amazing how generous people are.

6. The fact that I get to experience what most of the world will never get to experience. Men don't get to be pregnant and not every woman will have a baby. This is a true blessing of how miraculous God is.

Monday, November 17, 2008


I watched a clip on the Today Show this morning which featured a special episode where 4 hosts went "To The Ends of The Earth". This year's theme was about global warming and extinction, ect. It sparked a thought. Here's the thought: If you believe in evolution...now I'm not talking about micro-evolution...macro-evolution, then why should we be worried about animals and species going extinct? Wouldn't they evolve into whatever they're suposed to evolve into regardless or the condition of the Earth?

Sure, I'm huge on saving the environment and I think we need to do a better job of taking care of what God made for us..."and it was good". However, Earth is ever-changing. Historically we go through periods of lower and higher temperatured climates. I believe that over the last 100 years we have done much to damage our environment and need to put the damage control on. We have definately sped up Earth's natural process.

Think about it though. Dino's went extinct, but if you believe in evolution, some kind of animal would have had to evolve from the dino's or else we'd have no us(or puppies). And if you believe in the theory that Dino's went extinct from a comet hitting the earth then that was much more dramatic and speedy in damaging the environment than what we have been doing to destroy the Earth over the past 100 years.

I'd rather believe in creation than evolution anyway, because the idea that I came from an ape is not appealing to me. And even though I make a pretty mean fish face...I didn't evolve from a fish.

I'm just saying is all...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blog Ideas

What would you like me to blog about next?

Something funny?

or something serious?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I don't believe a single thing I wanted in the 2008 election went my way. A death with dignity law was passed, Gov. Chris Gregoire was re-elected, Obama is our next president with a Democratic House and Senate, an initiative passed to force workers for long-term care services for the elderly and persons with disabilities to become certified (which puts quite a few people out of jobs), and and initiative to reduce traffic congestion didn't pass which we desperately needed. I fear for the next four years.

It's not the end of the world for me that Obama was elected. I believe he has a lot to offer. However, I believe McCain had more to offer. To have the same party line all the way across the board, whether Republican or Democrat, is scary. We need checks and balances and having the Presidential cabinet, House and Senate all lining up, does not provide the balance. President Elect Obama will be able to pass just about anything he comes up with for the next four years. Be praying for him that he makes wise choices.

The most disappointing thing for me was that Chris Gregoire was re-elected. Since she's been in office she's raised our gas tax (during the the time of the highest priced gas in history), unemployment rates are up (where are the jobs she said she'd create?), our roads and traffic are the worst ever, and she's taken the money from raising our taxes and made a "first ever rainy day fund" for Washington State. That's just the start of it. How about let's not make a rainy day fund. If we have so much extra money then why not fix the roads or give it back to the citizens or fix the traffic problems? And quit taking money away from me... I'm a broke-ass white girl who doesn't have the privilege for a rainy day fund.

The problem I have with the death with dignity law is that my husband would be able to kill himself without me knowing about it. I'd find out in his death certificate. It would read something like this: "Dr. killed MMT per his request via deadly prescription drug without wife's consent." Nice, isn't it? Granted, I believe people should kill themselves if they truly wish to go that way. It's free will, however, do it the messy way. Don't involve other people. Don't make the Doctor make that tough decision. That would be like me asking my husband to give me the gun to shoot myself. He would never do that, nor would I ever put him in that position. Find another way to die. What are your thoughts?

Well, this has turned into a fun rant and rave session. Sorry about that. It only happens once every four years.

I feel for you John...I know exactly how you feel.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!!!

What did you go as?

I got sick this week so I wasn't able to get my bumble bee costume put together :( So I just went as "knocked up" instead (costume-less). I bet my costume took longer to make than yours! Hee hee :)

Monday, October 27, 2008

What I'm listening to:

Ray LaMontagne
Paulo Nutini
Keb' Mo'
Jason Myles Goss

You have got to check them out if you haven't heard of them. Great music!

What NOT to say or do to a pregnant lady:

I am not a very sensative person, especially pregnant. I don't mind if you touch my belly or want to feel the baby kick. I don't mind you saying, "Wow! you're getting bigger" because I am and right now I feel sexier than I've ever been due to my fat rolls being smoothed out because of my stretching belly.

HOWEVER, if I look like I'm waddling, don't imitate it. LOL.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Late 20's

Well, do I look it? I have officially turned "late 20's". It's kind of a scary thought knowing that my youth is behind me.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

It's a BOY!!!

My husband and I are having a baby boy and have named him Isaac. We haven't quite figured out a middle name yet so if you have any serious suggestions, we'd love to hear them. Serious meaning not some weird name or beer brand like Guinness which is what my husband wanted...great beer, not great middle name.

But I'd like to share with you how we came up with his name. Husband and I have been trying to have Isaac now for two+ years. After an Ectopic (tubal) pregnancy we became very discouraged and started to wonder if having children was even in our plans. We knew God was promising children to us but that promise was overwhelmed by what-ifs overcrowding our thoughts. Thinking I wouldn't be able to provide children for my husband helped me spiral downwards, eventually being diagnosed with severe depression. But I knew God's promise.

I took comfort in Abraham and Sarah's story in the book of Genesis from the Old Testimate of the Bible. Like God promised a child to them, I knew to wait patiently for our promise to be fulfilled. And luckily the thought of my husband sleeping with our maid-servant was not appealing to me (read the story, you'll get it). Even though Abraham and Sarah were very very old and waited much longer than we did, it still seemed to relate to me and comfort me throughout this time.

Low and behold, God blessed Abraham and Sarah with a son, whom they named Isaac. Isaac eventually became the ruler of the Christian Nation. And not that our son will be expected to live up to that high of expectations, he will live knowing that God has chosen him to be our son. We are so very thankful for that.

(See his wanker?!)

Friday, October 3, 2008


I'm going as a bumble bee! My 5 month pregnant belly will be a perfect replica of the bumble bee's belly. I'll find a long yellow shirt dress and add stripes to it, either with a sharpie or black electrical tape. Then I'll use a belt to synch up the waist and add the stinger to the back of the belt made out of cardboard tube. Then for the wings, simple coat hangers bent into the shape of wings using cream tights and spray glitter. Then for the legs, I've got the perfect pair of footless black tights. It'll be wonderful!

What are you going to be for Halloween?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pregnancy can be a bit embarassing...

So far I've had two very embarrassing moments with pregnancy that I would now like to share with you.

Okay, so I've had morning sickness. At first I was fine with it because it reminded me that I have a healthy growing mini-combination-me-&-baby's-daddy inside my belly. After about week two of throwing up every morning (by the way, don't eat Raisin Bran for breakfast, it's the worst to throw up) it got kind of old. The worst part was I had about a two-second warning of what my body was about to do. And it wouldn't be triggered by really anything. Smells made me nauseous at first, especially Lean Cuisine, but wouldn't trigger the full on throw up. However, I knew the moment that all started to change.

My husband and I were running an errand to get some copies at Kinko's. Ryan Styles was there. You know, the guy from Who's Line is it Anyway. He lives in Bellingham so it's inevitable that you'll eventually run in to him. Anyway, back to Kinko's. I was hungry before we left for Kinko's but decided to wait until afterwards. Stupid idea. As we left Kinko's, we drove through downtown Bellingham where every single foreign food restaurant decided to fire up the grill for lunch simultaneously. My husband's thoughts were, "mmmm, something smells good." My thoughts showed up in the form of green on my face. I tried to hold it in. Just as my husband pulled up to the curb, I went to open the car door and couldn't because it was locked. As I tried to unlock it, my husband tried to unlock it at the same time, forcing the car door to stay locked. It was too late. Needless to say, the car didn't appreciate me that day and neither did the sidewalk after I was finally able to open the door. The funny part about this whole thing is that I was sandwiched between the Post Office and the Whatcom County Jail/Courthouse.

Second most embarrassing pregnancy moment. I peed my pants. At church. The one where my husband is the Pastor which means this is the church I attend as the Pastor's wife. I had just ate dinner and my stomach was as full as it could get (which means I ate a carrot because that's really all it takes these days). I had to go to the bathroom so I stepped into the public stall, went to pull my pants down and just then I sneezed with no warning of a sneeze coming on. Because my bladder was so full and my belly was so full making my bladder even fuller than normal, I couldn't control my peeing mechanism and peed my pants.

The kid has control over everything! I keep telling myself that pregnancy is a beautiful thing and I should soak up every minute of it. But really, it's a disgusting, embarrassing time that takes too long to process (thanks God). I wish it was more like a Chia Pet, it comes out as a seed and then you just water it until it grows up.

But baby and I have made a pact. I have informed it that I'll let it have control over me now but once it is breathing oxygen rather than amniotic fluid, the tables will turn. (How naive am I...)

Seriously though, this is a beautiful thing and God has blessed me with a gift that less than half of the people on this earth will ever experience. I can't wait to meet my little one and until that day, I will be more than happy to let him or her poke at me, force me to have uncontrollable bodily functions, give me heart burn, give me big boobs, give me zits, make me hormonal, make my back hurt, give me hiccups, make me fat and all the other marvelous things that comes with pregnancy. Because I'm sure that as soon as I do meet him or her, I will have forgotten all about it.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Too much to write about

Well, this is a start of a very new season of life for me. Here's an update:

~ I have quit my old job and started a new job for a big company. Pray for me that I have found something I love and am not donating 40 hours a week to something I hate. Also pray that God can use me here.
~ My husband is now my pastor. We start our first service at our new church on Sunday. Pray that more than 5 people show up.
~ My husband done knocked me up. That's right, I'm pregnant. I am 14 weeks along as of today...officially out of my first trimester. So the puking should go away right?

I'd add more news but I think that's probably enough for right now.

Even though this all seems so overwhelming, I can officially say I have certainly been blessed. I am so proud of my husband in this new adventure God's given him. Some people warned me that it might be tough to receive my weekly preaching from my husband. But, frankly, that's one of the reasons I fell in love with him is because he moves me intellectually. He has an amazing way about him that inspires me and I don't mind one bit that he's my pastor.

The new job has been going good so far. The most frustrating thing for me, always, is that I don't know everything. I wish I could come into a new job with "auto pilot" but that takes several months, if not a year, to acquire with any new thing. Practice makes perfect. The best part about this new job though is that it's not my old job.

And I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. We've been waiting so patiently for this to happen, over two years. I have an overwhelming feeling it's going to be a girl. I'd prefer to have a boy first though, you know, for the stereotypical idea that the siblings will have an older brother. But, of course, I'll be happy either way. We have our names picked out: Trinity Grace for a girl and Ethan Alexander for a boy.

It's amazing how much God has already started to prepare Cameron and I for parenthood. I'm developing more patience already and Cameron thinks about the future alot. He can't wait to meet the little one I'm sure. And he's the sweetest husband a pregnant lady could ever ask for. He talks to the baby every night (even though it can't hear yet) and even rubs lotion on my belly when I ask him too.

Things are going great right now. I couldn't ask for a better season.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

A lady told me a story today about how she found a pair of underwear at her house and as she was describing the person to whom the underwear belonged to she said, "They weren't like tiny underwear, the girl was a big BIG girl." Then she proceeded to look me up and down and say, "Well, I guess she was a little bigger than you."

She didn't mean to hurt me nor did she have a clue that her comment affected me but obviously this comment hurt me a lot.

I'm not big, I'm not 200 pounds, more like 165. I wear a size 12-14 pants and can still shop in the juniors sections in department stores...you've seen my picture. However, I was crying all the way home and cried in my husbands arms. In an effort to comfort me, he took me to the beach to sit for a while and after several moments of silence I finally spoke saying that I wish we could go to an island and stay there so I don't have to deal with worldly crap like that. We're going on vacation in about three weeks to a little island in the San Juans for 7 days and without skipping a beat my husband replied, "We are...in 3 weeks...it may not be for a lifetime, nor warm, but it's a start."

He has a way of making me feel like not crap in situations like this.

God has a way of doing that too. Even though the world can fling poo in your face at times, God's there to comfort and love you even when others don't. He provides. For me, He's providing a get-a-way of exactly what I need, an Island with minimal unhappy people. He's made me beautifully and wonderfully. After He created me He looked me up and down and said, "this is good!" God doesn't make mistakes and even though others might look at me and think I'm a flawed, God says I'm not.

So if you're dealing with the same issues, I hope you know that God thinks you're beautiful, no matter how big or small you are...whether you have blond hair or brown, blue eyes or green, whether you're a giant or a miniature person, you are beautifully and wonderfully made just the way you are!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Go and be fishers of men

About twice a year our church goes and does service, rather than attend a service. Our neighborhood is our church and the residence are our congregation. Here's a short video to better explain:

About 60 people in our congregation of 90 were divided into 5 service projects. One of those service projects we happen to do every Sunday which is the Evergreen Rehabilitation Ministry. We take a team of preachers to the local Rehabilitation center to give a 10 minute sermon, some worship and communion to those who can't get out and attend a church. This is also a great way to spread the Good News since not everyone who attends the service has been saved.

After service is over we walk the halls of the center and say hello to the residence, offer prayer or just listen to some of their stories. It often helps to have a baby in your presence because nothing else makes their heart and eyes light up more than seeing God's precious bundles of joy. Rehab centers are many times used for those who need care after major surgeries and procedures, but more often than not, it remains a final home for many before they pass on. Furthermore, rehab centers have many elderly residence and, sadly, not many of them get many visitors.

Last Sunday my husband was blessed with the opportunity to give the sermon at Evergreen.

As he spoke about how everyone is born with a place in their heart for God (he calls this our "God space:), I watched as the residence listened intently, every now and then nodding in acknowledgment of the words he spoke upon. His tool was an infant shape sorter toy

and he used a story about how he'd watch his little brother play with his shape sorter toy. My husband explained how his little brother would try to fit the block into the round hole and would either figure out that the block goes into the square hole or he would get frustrated and give up. Often times, he'd be able to get the block part of the way into the circle however couldn't force it all the way through the circle hole.

My husband spoke about how sometimes we try to fill the hole with self help books or addictions but neither of which are ever fully satisfying to our empty spaces.

The only thing that can fill the emptiness completely is our Father in heaven.

I loved how others got to enjoy the wisdom and knowledge my husband has to share. His warmth and love radiates throughout. Even Zoe felt safe enough to share a prayer request at the end.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I need to slow down

Oh my goodness! I haven't posted in a very very long time. Sorry 'bout that! I'll try to be better.

My weeks have been filled with work and spiritual boot camp. I do a hard-core women's ministry on Monday nights until 9:00, Tuesdays I meet with my life coach, Wednesdays I have my small group/bible study and by the time I get to Thursdays I'm just pooped and that doesn't include church and fellowship on the weekends.

Work has been very busy. I've been taking over maternity leave for a co-worker who is due back in another week or two. I'm thinking of taking a vacation once she gets back. Hopefully my life will get back to some sort of normal soon. Although I fear that "some kind of normal" is retirement.

However, even though my days seem to be filled, I've managed to do some painting. This has helped me to reconnect with myself. Here's one painting I did for a study on Matthew 5: 1-12, the "Blessed be's":

The title is "Newsong." I chose this title because in the old testament God is One to fear, One to say, "eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth," One about sacrifices, order, and commands, One to punish the sinners and put to serious tests the faithful. However, in the new testament there is a new God, a kinder God, a more loving and intimate God who came to Earth and became more like us through His son, Jesus. Just like God reveals Himself with a new body, He brings a new song and new command, to love your Lord with all your heart but above all love your neighbor as you love yourself (1 John 2: 7-8). He shows us in Matthew 5: 1-12 how blessed we are. In this new song there's hope, faith, love and peace.

I tried to reinvent this through my painting by showing this new song as it is in my heart. Because the pictures came out kind of fuzzy I'll describe what elements the painting contains. The staff lines are made up of 5 themes (from bottom to top). For the bottom line I wrote, "You've put a new song in my heart Lord," which marks the beginning of the song. Next comes "forgiveness" because that's where we first must understand that our Lord forgives all of our sins upon redemption. The third line shows "hope" because once we've asked for forgiveness and accepted the forgiveness from God, we start to gain hope for a new life, a better life. On the fourth line is "faith" because we must trust in the truth and faith is what gets us there. Last is "love" because above all else there's love.

I didn't do this painting to preach, I did this to inspire...mostly myself. This is a reminder to me of how God has worked in my life and I hope to inspire that fire to light up in the hearts of others.

God bless!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Plenty of Boxes

So my BFF's kid, Zoe, was over at our house last week. As I do almost every day, I came home for lunch for my afternoon tease. I call it my afternoon tease because it's one hour of freedom from work which is just enough time for me to get unmotivated to go back. So As I was laying on the couch, snuggled up to my husband, loving every minute of it and not wanting to go back to work, I said to him, "Honey can I just quit and stay home with you forever?" He replied, "Sure!" But curious about how we would survive financially I asked him, "What would we do about money?" He said, "Well, we'll have to live in a cardboard box and eat leftover, cold and bug-infested McDonald's burgers from the garbage can, but at least we'd be together." I didn't like that answer, so I started thinking about another way we could not work and not have to eat gross food and live in a cardboard box. Knowing that Zoe was listening in on our conversation, I asked her if she thought Nanna and Pappa would have any extra room at their house for me and MMT. She continued playing with whatever it was she was playing with and without skipping a beat nor looking up at me, she promptly and cleverly replied...

"Sure! They've got plenty of boxes!"

Friday, January 11, 2008

"I wanna knock 'em on the head, Daddy!"

This one is for you, Dad:

Some of my most favorite moments growing up were fishing with my Dad. Every fishing hole I've ever fished with him are locked forever in my memory. To this day I can smell the freshness of my hikes in the woods to reach our destination, the combination of moss, trees, dirt, water, and little orange fish goop we'd stick on the ends of our bait to attract the biggest Rainbow Trout we could find. Those were my favorite fish, probably not for the taste nor their beauty but probably for the simple fact that the name had the word "rainbow" in it and I was the biggest Rainbow Bright fan ever.

With my Dad in front of me hiking down to the river bed, I would carefully watch his every step, follow exactly in his every footstep, keeping in mind the words he would often say to me, "watch your step, punk." If we arrived at a steep part in the trail, he'd climb down it to turn around and look up at me with his arms open wide assuring me he'd catch me. Trusting him, I'd jump into his arms and he'd place me back down on the path. Once we'd get to the river, it was never enough just to set up at the end of the trail and begin fishing, we'd head down the river, of the beaten path, to find the best spot. We'd climb rocks, cross over logs perfectly placed across the river from a fallen tree, perhaps get our feet wet crossing the river at a low spot because the other side looked more intriguing. If the water was too rough or too deep for my little feet Dad would pick me up and prop me on his shoulders, carrying me across the river to solid ground. Many times he'd reach his hand out to me and pull me across to the next big rock he was standing on if my legs couldn't jump the distance.

These adventures weren't just about the fishing, they were about the journey to get to "the spot."

My Dad and I share the same spot along the river, it's a hike to get to but the rewards are worth it. There are natural hot springs that come up out of the ground at the top of the hill above our spot and trickle down through the rocks into the river. There's sort of a cliff that goes up on one side of the hot springs where fossils are buried. At the bottom of the hill are flat slabs of rock that reaches out into the river. There you can take a dip in the river's deepness or catch fish that camps out under the shades of the slab.

The day that my Grandmother passed away, she asked my Dad to take her to that area so she could gather moss for some flower pot arrangements she was making. Dad loaded her and some buckets into the truck and they went on an adventure. She took the long journey down the ravine. Once they got to the river, she looked at my Dad and said, "I would like you to scatter my ashes here when I die." They started the hike back up. She complained about her arm hurting and stopped frequently to rest. She was a trooper though and made it back to the truck with moss in hand.

Later that evening Grandma passed away from a heart attack. It was almost as if she knew it was going to be her last day.

Dad scattered her ashes at our spot. This was 6 years ago.

For some reason fishing just isn't quite the same anymore. I've tried fishing by myself, with my husband and with friends but I just don't get the same level of satisfaction from it. This is something special that I have between my Daddy and I.

I haven't been back to our spot since Grandma passed away and I suppose I'm due for a visit. However, I visit it quite often in my memory. I can visualize Dad helping me reel in my "big" 4 inch Rainbow Trout, pulling it out of the river and laying it down on the slab we stood on. After unhooking the fish he pulls his heavy-duty pocket knife out of his pocket to knock the fish unconscious, and I say in excitement, "I wanna knock 'em in the head Daddy."

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Jesus' name is God. He is Creator and powerful.

A little over a month ago, I was asked by my worship leader at church to do a painting for the church on one of the Advent themes, faith, hope, love, and peace. And, oh by the way, I was also asked if I could help Zoe do one so we could see Jesus through a child's perspective.

Though I was excited to do a painting for my church and use that time to reflect on the reason for the season, I was thinking, "[big sigh] not another task on my Christmas-time to-do list." But with a joyful heart and time put aside, I embraced the task and got more out of my time with Jesus through this painting than I initially thought I would obtain. Ironically, my word was "faith." This word has haunted me over the past year. This word has been my Christian focus for quite some time. I go through periods of time where I focus on a certain aspect of my walk with Jesus that needs a little fine-tuning. My faith department was more like in the need of a complete full body makeover, 90% totaled, broken down, beat up, Ford Pinto. To sum it up, I've never been really good at giving full control of anything over to God.

So this time spent focusing on what it means to give up my ideas of a self-controlled style of living to a God-controlled, faith based, style of living, was certainly powerful.

However, I got even more out of it through Zoe's painting and the time spent with her reflecting on what God's love looks like through her eyes.

I spent my time thinking about how it would be best to help Zoe with understanding what God's love meant. Especially since we were nearing Christmas, I was focusing on trying to keep her attention away from any Christmas-themed ideas on what God's love looks like to her, ie. a Christmas tree with presents and bows, or a manger-themed painting. My only goal was to keep her focused on what God's love looks like to her without Christmas being involved.

We made a rough drafted sketch of some ideas she had on God's love before diving into the big-girl canvas. When she was confident enough, we proceeded. She handed me a marker and placed hands towards the bottom of the canvas in order to trace them. Once that was completed she colored them in (the color she chose was yellow because God glows). Then she grabbed a blue marker and drew a huge circle just above the hands resembling the world...you know because Jesus has got the whole world in his hands. She scribbled inside the blue circle green and blue, green for the continents (which she later called planets) and blue for the oceans. She asked to spell out the different planets and oceans so that way people would know it was the Earth... I think it's just because she wanted to practice her latest hobby, writing (she takes after her mom in that respect...seriously, since she's learned to write, the girl has had to spell everything out). At the top of the canvas she colored in about three inches of solid blue and just below that some stars for the heavens. Under that and just above the world she drew a solid line of hearts to show that God's love covers the whole Earth in which he carries.

She reminded me, in her own innocent way, that God carries me through His abundant love. What an amazing kid. When I saw the video, I immediately started to choke up. Tears ran down my face while I sat in amazement and overwhelming pride for this 5-year old. I know I've felt proud of others in my life but this was truly the most proud moment I've ever had, as if she were my own kid. Mostly, I was proud that she had this innocent ability to move and inspire not just me but other members of our congregation.

She finished her painting with a story on our Lord, which is the title of this post:

Jesus' name is God. He is Creator and powerful.

She's exactly right. He is so powerful that he can speak through a 5-year old little girl into the hearts of his full grown children.