Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Confessions

Alright - so you know I'm a pastor's wife. Not the stereo-typed pastor's wife. I keep a dirty house (but my heart's in the right place for a clean one), I cuss (although I've altered my cussing to protect my son's ears), I don't play the piano - I play the guitar (I have a Fender acoustic and electric), I listen to every type of music including rap (yes, I have the new Eminem album), and I will pass gas in front of my friends. There. I said it. BUT what you get from me is a woman who loves God with all her heart, who loves fellowship with other women, loves listening to others praises and struggles, loves to pray and be in God's word. I'm working on my down falls, like cussing, but most of my down falls keep me real. When you see me on Sunday, you get the real, authentic, me. You can tell me anything and know I won't judge, primarily because I've already probably been there done that.

So, does this make me good enough to be a pastor's wife? I struggled with this question for a long time. But I came to the conclusion that God made me the way I am so it's his fault anyway right? No, I'm just kidding. What I realized was that yes, there's always room for improvement. And I'm humble enough to admit that. But God has placed me in this roll of servitude. God knew that one day I would marry a man whose life would be called into ministry and that I would be his wife. God has called both of us into this ministry and God knows we are the best fit for wherever he places us. And that I'm confident in. I'm confident in myself because God's confident in me and anytime I think otherwise, I visualize the "whack-a-mole" arcade game. But instead of moles, Satan is there and I whack him back down into his mole hole...while yelling out "WHACK-A-DEVIL! Game over."

So if you're a pastor's wife and struggle with your roll, please leave me a comment. We need to support each other! There can be so much pressure on you to be the stereo-type.


Quote of the day:

"I am what I am"
-Poppeye

1 comment:

Jenn A said...

Hey girl, fellow pastor's wife :)
A friend of mine forwarded your post and your blog to me. So great, the things you shared! It is important that we be authentic. I like that you used the word "authentic" instead of "real". Lisa Bevere says, "The thing that authenticates a diamond is it's flaws. It's the fire of God that refines us. The more refined something is, like crystal, the less durable, but more valuable it becomes. There is value in going through the fire."
I love that God has EVERY single detail of our lives planned and purposeful! Isn't that great!?!? We are who we are, doing what God has called us to do. He does NOT make mistakes! That is SO comforting.
I think I have it a bit easier, as my husband is a music pastor. The expectations on me are not quite the same as a senior pastor's wife. I think I get off easy sometimes. But I do have a funny story. One day, pre-service as I'm passing through our foyer I hear a lady say as she's pointing at me, "And that's our music pastor's wife. She going to have a baby..." It's like I wasn't even there. People are funny sometimes. In our lives and our roles, we do live in a "fish bowl", so to speak. But you have to admit, there are perks too :)
Thanks again for your post, and thank you for being authentic too!
Jenn