I know this would completely embarrass him but this is too funny to pass up (I love you, Oats).
Last night as we were crawling into bed I noticed how much his feet stunk. Now I know guys' feet aren't supposed to smell like roses, but these were pretty bad. His response to my foul face was a very nonchalant, "Oh, I guess I should wash them tomorrow." Other than my first thought of how disgusting I just found my husband to be after being married for 3+ years, I was wondering why he replied as though he doesn't wash his feet every day. Now my husband isn't one of those plumber crack kind of guys. He doesn't usually stink and he's very handsome. So being curious I asked, "You don't wash your feet everyday?" and he laughed. When my husband thinks something is really funny he'll laugh in a sort of Bert and Ernie (from Sesame Street, you know: heeheeheeheehee) combined with the snake laugh (tststststs) kind of way...it's quite funny. But generally he only laughs like this at really disgusting stuff like farts and stinky things and only particularly when he's done such things...not quite so funny when I cause the event.
Anyway, this sparks a whole new conversation on yuckiness that in the 7 1/2 years I have known this man, I have never known what I am about to share with you. He told me that when he was in high school he never clipped his toe nails. YUCK! Now why I continue to ask questions to keep this conversation going rather than gag and move on, I don't know. So I ask him, "Did you have very long toe nails (invisioning the Ripplie's Believe It Or Not's curling toe nails that haven't been clipped in 20 years) or...what?" He replied, "No, they managed to usually fall off in my socks." Again, not knowing why I continued rather than GAG and leave it at that...I pursued the disgustingness..."SO you had toe nails swimming around in your socks all day long while you went about your day?!" He said he usually didn't feel them.
I just want to leave you with this:
Guys: Why are you so disgusting? And why do you always have to laugh at your most disgusting moments in life?